I headed to the Hull New Theatre on Tuesday evening to review The Osmonds: A New Musical, safe in the knowledge that my financial outlay would be minimal. A free ticket and interval drink meant my only expense would be a pre-production coffee.
I was absolutely certain that Donny Osmond’s recording of Puppy Love and his sister Marie’s Paper Roses (the only two Osmond songs I could recall … apart from my worst song of all time, Crazy Horses) would never, ever make it on to my ageing iPod.
Well, dear reader, all I can say is I will never be rich. Back home I downloaded everything Osmondy I could find (except Crazy Horses!).
From the not-so-glittery curtain up, the show grew on me by the minute. It was Jay Osmond (Alex Lodge), one of the older Osmonds, who narrated their story, written by the real-life Jay.
He recalled that from childhood, he, along with his brothers Merrill (Ryan Anderson), Alan (Jamie Chatterton) and Wayne (Danny Nattrass), sang to make enough money to buy decent hearing aids for their two older brothers, both born deaf.
Little did they know their precocious talent would lead them to making $80m and selling 100m records worldwide.
And little did they know they would lose every penny …
Ruled by a regimental, but loving, father, George (Charlie Allen), it was difficult to watch how he demanded the very best of his boys. The scene where a stuttering and stammering young Merrill couldn’t get his tongue around the word “imperturbable” was excruciating.
The Osmond’s mum, Olive (Nicola Bryan) was the perfect foil for George’s harsh love, though, regularly comforting and praising her children.
Despite the wonderful performances of all on stage, which now included Donny (Joseph Peacock), Marie (Georgia Lennon) and Jimmy (Tristan Whincup), the thing that absolutely gripped me was the human story behind the Osmond phenomenon.
Eventually worn out by their global success, the family voted to return to their home state of Utah and invest everything they had earned into building their own studio.
But, by January 1980, it became clear every cent had gone, resulting in two years of hard work for the family to pay off their debts.
The stage setting throughout was not particularly spectacular – a couple of movable metal staircases and some flashing lights, but it mattered not a jot.
The sparkle was provided by glittery costumes, at times, and the tuneful singing of hits such as Love Me For A Reason, One Bad Apple, Let Me In, Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool and the aforementioned Paper Roses and Crazy Horses. “Donny”, singing Puppy Love, brought the house down.
The youngsters on stage, whose names escape me, showed a talent way beyond their years. Future stars, one and all.
Amazing musicians, under the direction of Will Joy, added to the gripping atmosphere.
My review might give the impression that the night was more sad than happy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Top marks must go to the storyline and the incredibly talented performers that brought it – and the far from full theatre – to life. I loved it.
Running until Saturday, October 22nd, 2022; 7.30pm nightly with 2.30pm matinees on Thursday, 20th and Saturday, 22nd. Tickets cost from £13.50. Call (01482) 300306 or visit www.hulltheatres.co.uk
Reviewer: Jackie Foottit
Reviewed: 18th October 2022
North West End UK Rating: ★★★★★