This one-woman show is billed as an autobiographical drama-comedy featuring Lucia Mallardi, a former semi-professional footballer who travelled as a street artist. The show’s advertising blurb claims that Lucia’s story is empowering, challenging boundaries, merging sports and theatre.
Well, firstly – yes, this show is autobiographical. Very. The performer is telling the story of her own life. Undoubtedly bright and brave, she is performing in English, not her native language, with a smattering of rapid fire Italian and accents of languages picked up on her travels. However, just because you’ve chosen to live an unconventional life doesn’t mean that the recounting of some of it will add up to something which will hold an audience’s attention. After all, this is the fringe – the temple of the unconventional.
Secondly, is this a drama-comedy? No, I don’t think so. This show takes the form of linear accounts of selected events over years lived from school to present day, incorporating some vocal impressions of characters encountered along the way. There was no narrative arc, as far as I could see. I was even waiting for a crescendo, but it didn’t come.
Thirdly, does Lucia’s story empower and challenge? Maybe. Just maybe. Back in the day, a girl playing football must certainly have been a challenge and in this performer’s case, the story of a girl choosing to wrongfoot her parents to chase her dream, travelling from Italy to Germany for the love of the sport is a story of empowerment.
However, to draw substance from this show, the audience really does have to look past the recounting of the life story and search for those moments where the performer steps outside her own personal experiences. For example, by showing how deeply emotional she felt observing how women’s football has developed over the years to the present day, she allowed us to feel her passion for the beauty of the game and how much she wants all to share in it, regardless of gender.
However, no such effort on the part of the audience is required to see how this performer comes alive with the ball in her hand/on her forehead/shoulders/arms/at her feet. At times, her lips even kiss her beloved ball – actually, many times. Again and again and again. This football – the first thing to appear on stage and the last to leave – is her love, her life.
During the show, Lucia Mallardi described her wish as a young girl to become a comedian, and touched upon her love of the theatre, her love of performance, of impersonation of others and yes, I get it. I do. I’m sure she can do all of that. However, in all honesty, in this show her football took centre stage. Maybe this might be something for this performer to consider – her ball somehow seems to have a life of its own and exerts its own magic over her. This, I reckon, could be the real show.
Reviewer: Susan Elizabeth
Reviewed: 9th August 2025
North West End UK Rating: