Written and performed by Zoë Clayton-Kelly with a running time under an hour and no particular destination to reach in that time, One Hundred and Thirty Thousand Squirrels in London (And I Want Them All to Love Me) features surprisingly little mammalia but covers just about every other subject under the London sun.

The cabaret features original tracks with names like ‘Existential Thoughts of a Freelancer’, ‘Floating Naked in a Magnesium Salt Bath with Your Mum’ and other similarly relatable tunes.
Clayton-Kelly brings high-octane inanity to an incredibly varied set of specified circumstances and generalized anxieties. Clayton-Kelly is a capable performer and captures the audience’s attention with a panoply of props and a few tricks up her princess sleeves.
Come join her on the “spiral train” she conducts into chaos and join in on the laughs, the cringes, the awkward silences, and the even more uncomfortable sounds.
One Hundred and Thirty Thousand Squirrels in London (And I Want Them All to Love Me) runs until 5th August at Canal Cafe Theatre with tickets available at https://canalcafetheatre.com
Reviewer: Kira Daniels
Reviewed: 4th August 2025
North West End UK Rating: