Why I Stuck a Flare Up My Arse for England – Underbelly Bristo Square

Why? Exactly. Was this act a bare-faced illustration of the hideous nationalistic spirit that took England out of Europe (dragging Scotland & N Ireland with them), a suburban reaction of self-harm to years of disenfranchisement? Or a daft, exuberant party trick, of which there have been many worse witnessed (and kept secret) on Stag and Hen Do’s? Maybe without the ‘… For England’ suffix it might be agreed it was the latter. But, was it hot… did it hurt?

What you get with this production are no direct answers to such trivialities, but something more significant, some context and perspective leading up to the event. On the surface it’s a vigorous, comic, yet desperate, depressing portrait of what it takes to earn your stripes as an England football fan. Or a member of any gang, really. Having applied oneself with distinction at club level to the drills of Lager, Cocaine, chanting and violence, you’ve graduated to assume the mantle of national hero in the viral social media arena. Beneath the surface this is about the importance of true friendships, the essential requirement to indulge and nurture such precious commodities and ignore the base temptation to turn into a bore.

Writer and performer Alex Hill is pretty much in tears at the end of his exhausting hour, leaving us with the message: ‘To all the conversations we should have had.’  It’s hard holding back one’s own lachrymose reaction and the cheers and standing applause are well-deserved. Against a backdrop draped with England football flags, he bounds and bounces with Tigger-like intensity through a practical and uncluttered set (Joel Clements) playing different characters from the story, the clever poetic prologue rhyming two words (‘admire’ and ‘Maguire’) seldom-uttered in the same sentence. Nor does he confine himself to the stage, lurching into the audience to portray – to hilarious effect – a trip to the theatre to take in Les Misérables. On a Match day!

Since its inception in July 2023 it’s gathered a clutch of awards and has progressed from the backrooms of pubs to full size theatres way beyond these shores. This is supposed to be the final run, which is a shame because it feels there’s more could be explored and developed; the themes are disquietingly still relevant, chief of which is what drives a segment of the male population to behave this way?

NB: By way of addressing the above, there’s a book of the text available outside after the show, £7, two of which goes to UK charity CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably).

Running at Underbelly Bristo Square (Cowbarn), August 5^th – 24^th, 14^th,15^th (2.15pm). https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/why-i-stuck-a-flare-up-my-arse-for-england

Reviewer: Roger Jacobs

Reviewed: 4th August 2025

North West End UK Rating: