London

One Hundred and Thirty Thousand Squirrels in London (And I Want Them All To Love Me) – Canal Cafe

Written and performed by Zoë Clayton-Kelly with a running time under an hour and no particular destination to reach in that time, One Hundred and Thirty Thousand Squirrels in London (And I Want Them All to Love Me) features surprisingly little mammalia but covers just about every other subject under the London sun.

The cabaret features original tracks with names like ‘Existential Thoughts of a Freelancer’, ‘Floating Naked in a Magnesium Salt Bath with Your Mum’ and other similarly relatable tunes.

Clayton-Kelly brings high-octane inanity to an incredibly varied set of specified circumstances and generalized anxieties. Clayton-Kelly is a capable performer and captures the audience’s attention with a panoply of props and a few tricks up her princess sleeves.

Come join her on the “spiral train” she conducts into chaos and join in on the laughs, the cringes, the awkward silences, and the even more uncomfortable sounds.

One Hundred and Thirty Thousand Squirrels in London (And I Want Them All to Love Me) runs until 5th August at Canal Cafe Theatre with tickets available at https://canalcafetheatre.com

Reviewer: Kira Daniels

Reviewed: 4th August 2025

North West End UK Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Kira Daniels

Recent Posts

Jersey Boys – Hull New Theatre

Having seen the musical Jersey Boys several times now, both as a reviewer as well…

22 hours ago

Dirty Harry – La Belle Angele

There are tribute bands, and then there are those which, for a couple of hours…

1 day ago

Dear Joanna, My Favourite Animals Are Scorpions – Bread and Roses Theatre

Dear Joanna, My Favourite Animals Are Scorpions is an unsettling exploration of childhood friendship, adolescent…

1 day ago

Tandem at Ten: A Festival of Words – Traverse Theatre

Tandem is a writing collective established and run by playwrights Jennifer Adam, Amy Hawes and…

1 day ago

The First Year (of the Gaza Genocide in the Media) – New Diorama

There is something inherently difficult about making theatre about an event that is still unfolding,…

1 day ago

Balisong – Traverse Theatre

Short but perfectly formed, Balisong occasionally comes perilously close to feeling like a public-information film about the…

1 day ago