One day in 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow went skiing. The Hollywood starlet and celebrity sex toy saleswoman collided on the slopes with retired optometrist Terry Sanderson. A high-profile lawsuit soon followed. On the day of the collision, Sanderson claims to have suffered life-changing injuries. Gwyneth, meanwhile, lost half a day’s skiing. And Awkward Productions gained the inspiration for this hilarious fringe show. I think I know who the real winners were.
Paltrow (Linus Karp) and Sanderson (Joseph Martin) are as different as can be. He likes boiled eggs for breakfast. Gwyneth prefers jade eggs. But they both like skiing. Sanderson falls and is rescued by our angelic Gwynfluencer. She takes him to her chalet for a pep talk and some bone broth. Sadly, things sour between them, and then they collide on the slope. Each claims that the other is to blame.
As Gwyneth, Karp is elegantly poised, with an aura of naïve smugness. Karp owns the stage with every flick of his fabulous blonde wig. If my hair looked like that, I just know that my life would be perfect. Martin’s optometrist (definitely not an optician) is gruff, lonely and, also, a fan of Coldplay.
Members of the audience were selected to play roles such as the partners of our two leads, journalists and a shop assistant. They all perform admirably. Whoever was in charge of casting these roles really knows their job. And they all receive a goody bag from Gwyneth’s brand Goop for their trouble. Meanwhile, Gwyneth’s daughter Apple is played by …. An actual apple. There is also a prerecorded appearance from drag queen extraordinaire, Trixie Mattel.
The trial is reproduced “surprisingly almost verbatim”, although I suspect that the talking animals were made up. Sanderson’s lawyer, appropriately portrayed by a muppet, is starstruck. She asks questions like “Do you give Taylor Swift intimate gifts for Christmas”. It is really quite worrying.
The show is very funny, as it damn well should be with such source material. Gwyneth invites the audience to suggest new product lines for Goop. Bumhole glitter, anyone? Chris Martin is “the other one” from Coldplay, and an unfortunate employee gets “consciously unemployed”. i.e. fired.
The poppy, musical theatre-ey songs are provided by musician Leland, with vocals by Cat Cohen and Darren Criss. Backing vocals, meanwhile, come from forest creatures, just like in a Disney musical. The leads lip sync along to the prerecorded music. I can’t blame them: the fringe can be brutal on the voice. It all adds to the camp and joyful vibe of the show.
There is minimal set, and a succession of rather silly props. The show is all about the story, the characters, and the performances. This is fringe theatre at its best. Enjoy!
Reviewer: Wendy McEwan
Reviewed: 13th August 2024
North West End UK Rating:
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