The Dark Room – Gilded Balloon Patterhoose Doonstairs

Created by Australian comedian John Robertson in 2012 as part of a stand-up routine about videogames, “The Dark Room” has become an international touring sensation. Inspired by the text based video games of the 1980s, the show encourages the audience to choose their own adventure – which inevitably results in failure. It’s a simple but effective idea, and one which has gathered a troupe of ardent followers, all called Darren. The audience gleefully chant “Ya Die, Ya Die, Ya Die” as each player fails, before they are gifted a suitably ridiculous consolation prize.

The whole show plays out appropriately in the dark, with John lit from below by a hand held torch. Wearing a leather corset and a huge spiked shoulder piece, he bears more than a passing resemblance to a young Richard O’Brien. John’s frenetic energy and manic vocal skills add a level of tension to the evening – you’re never quite sure what’s going to happen next. However, he is a master of crowd work, and manages to roast unsuspecting audience members whilst also keeping them on side. A lone young man is greeted with the line “I see you’ve come alone, and that looks entirely justified” and walks away with a Friends DVD as a prize, but roars with laughter as each insult is delivered with a twinkly smile.

The options in the game become more and more ridiculous – “lick wall” and “smell room” for example, and John acts out a skit about Jeremy Clarkson which is side-splittingly funny but bordering on libellous. There’s even some explicit Christmas options this year, leaving one poor Darren to ask for Mary and Joseph to be ridden by a donkey. The prizes are handed out in traditionally chaotic Dark Room fashion – baguettes are hurled into the audience (in the dark if you choose hard mode) and the guest comedian is crowd surfed to the back of the room to present a flamboyant potato.

Given that every performance is different, “The Dark Room” is a show that can be enjoyed again and again. Get yourself down to Gilded Balloon if you want to leave the theatre aching with laughter.

“The Dark Room” runs until 24th August at Gilded Balloon Patterhoose Doonstairs, with tickets available at www.gildedballoon.co.uk

Reviewer: Torya Hughes

Reviewed: 3rd August 2025

North West End UK Rating: