Coming Home – King’s Arms, Salford

The link between a football fan and their team can often be like the relationship between a man and a woman. First, there is deep passion which means the supporter can love and hate his club simultaneously. Secondly, there is a lot of shouting involved, some kissing, a bit of singing and every now and then feelings of pure ecstasy. Regretfully, some people’s passion for their football team surpasses their love for their significant other.

If that team is the England football team you can introduce layers of hope, desire, frustration, and as we all know, ultimately disappointment. When similar emotions are applied to the romance between Jack (Christopher Wollaton) and Suzie (Lucy Farrar), you have a hilarious drama that is just as dramatic and emotional as any penalty shootout.

Jack is a typical working-class lad, he likes his booze, his football, and spending time with his mates. He is passionate about the England football team and desperately wants them to succeed, he fervidly desires football to come home. He decides to watch the big match with his girlfriend Suzie, mainly as a kind of penance for an indiscretion after a previous game, and as a way to build some bridges with her.

Like an England penalty taker, there is something amiss with their relationship. Their differences are highlighted by Jack’s frustrated yelling at the TV, his defence of violent England fans, and his alcohol and tobacco use. Over time their sex life has become less exciting and it now more resembles a 0-0 draw on a miserable Tuesday night in November than a seven-goal thriller. She feels pain when they have sex and Jack is unable to understand the problem, he is jealous and there are undercurrents of abuse.

There are some excellent one-liners and enjoyable comic set pieces. Especially well done was a nicely observed take on the national anthem. The absurdity of getting so angry and anxious about a football match is central to the play and I have been guilty of shouting at the telly when watching England play myself (haven’t we all?) The play traces the quadrennial setbacks England has experienced since 1998, along with technological advancements and the rise of social media. The game they are watching makes no difference because Jack and Suzie’s issues remain the same.

Christopher Wollaton, who also wrote the play, gave Jack an ardent intensity and a naïve charm. He was infantile, wanting satisfaction in all things whether that was his team winning, drinking more beer, or having sex with Suzie. Underneath he is vulnerable, which he tries to hide behind a façade of extreme bravado and exuberance. Eventually, his defence is breached and he is left exposed.

Lucy Farrar’s performance was so natural and authentic that she did not seem to be acting. On the surface, all seemed fine, but she caught the pain and torment Suzie was going through with an astute ease. The ordinariness of the character is made extraordinary when you realise that she has to live with this man-child.

A small criticism would be that some of the dialogue became a tad repetitious, similar to England’s frequent exits from football competitions. Even if you have to relive all those times you thought football was coming home, only to see it go somewhere else, this play is undoubtedly worth seeing.

The play will be on at the Hen & Chickens Theatre, London on 20 October. For tickets go to – https://www.unrestrictedview.co.uk/events/coming-home/

Reviewer: Adam Williams

Reviewed: 25th August 2024

North West End UK Rating: