A is for Arsenic – Bilton Theatre

The snow lay inches deep in Bilton, near Hull, on Wednesday evening, but that didn’t deter theatregoers from making their way to the Bilton Amateur Dramatics Society’s (BADS) theatre to watch the comedy murder mystery, A is for Arsenic.

Written by David Pemberton and directed by Carol Hawxwell, the play is performed by arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts.

But there was nothing lazy about the six actors who brought the play to life – I really do think it was one of the best this small, talented company has brought to the stage so far.

The curtain opens on a brick-walled basement room – table, chairs, bookcase, white board with stand and little else.

Over time, members of a crime writing group – yoga teacher Sally (Mandy Grimston), housewife Fay (Helen Davison), and Brian, insurance salesman (Flynn Burge), gather in the room inside an adult education centre, awaiting the arrival of their tutor, Trevor (Matthew Broderick).

For some reason Trevor has chosen the basement for their meetings as it is “next to the boiler room, so will be warmer for the group”.

As the budding crime writers chat, they start to open up about Trevor, a best-selling author, and question whether he is using their ideas to write his next novel, gaining all the credit.

They even make fun of his actions, for instance the way he puts one leg on to the chair seat when making a point.

Then Trevor himself appears – a mountain of a man, his voice literally boomed across Bilton village. In fact, all stage voices were loud and clear on the night.

Trevor swaggers in and, yes, he often put his foot up on to a chair, much to the audience’s amusement.

Two latecomers to the meeting – social worker Jan (Ailsa Oliver) and IT consultant Stan (Ray Rumkee), completed the cast. Stan had arrived earlier but had taken his turn at making the group’s cups of tea, which he later brought in on a tray.

Their homework, chosen by Trevor, was “Perfect Murder” and the tutor began to question his “pupils” on the theme.

Various theories were voiced – my fave being Fay’s idea of stabbing someone with an icicle and when it melts, the murder weapon has disappeared. Genius!

As each idea was aired, it was Stan who comes up with something so outrageous, it starts off a chain of events that had the group, literally, scrabbling in the dark, while trying to step over the body lying on the basement floor, and looking for ways to exit the now-locked room.

Not only that, but their chat also turned to how to dispose of a body – cement boots and tossed into the sea or place the body into an acid bath.

Crime writers had suddenly turned into hardened criminals. But fear overtakes bravado when the fire alarm goes off and the locked room gradually heats up.

But as the pragmatic Jan says: “Well, we won’t need a funeral. We’ll be cremated”.

Trevor’s mantra each week is to write bolder, dig deeper and, above all, outdo him if they dare.

Well, Stan dared, but did he win?

A is for Arsenic kept us in the fairly full theatre entertained throughout. The six talents were perfectly believable in their roles. Each had their fair share of amusing one-liners, so no-one hogged the best bits.

However, it was Stan’s character that seemed to get most of the attention, as it was he who caused all the kerfuffle.

And Ray Rumkee’s portrayal of him was a laugh-a-minute. Even though Mr Rumkee is an ex-Hull Daily Mail colleague/chum of mine, I promise I’m not at all biased – I didn’t even know he was a member of BADS. But he really was very entertaining.

This small theatre company has come up trumps with this comical murder mystery that was well worth trudging through the snow to see. I loved it.

A is for Arsenic runs until Saturday, November 22nd, 2025 with tickets available from (01482) 812750 or www.ticketsource.co.uk

Reviewer: Jackie Foottit

Reviewed: 19th November 2025

North West End UK Rating: