Scotland

0% Beer Loves Me, Women Fear Me, Sheep Were Unavailable For Comment (Dan Boerman) – Beehive Inn (Lounge)

‘2pm, upstairs in a pub, there are worse places on a Wednesday afternoon!’

And we’re off for an hour in the company of amiable, amenable Kiwi Dan Boerman, lately of this Midlothian parish if the dispensed information is correct. Though not offered up is anything about 0% Beer, scared women or sheep. Little matter, he has another show on across the Grassmarket, ‘Dan Boerman Folds A Fitted Sheet’, so why not pop across there later to avoid anything about sheets, fitted or otherwise. Though he did actually perform said manoeuvre on Calton Hill recently, attracting sizeable hordes of observers, which was, to coin his bon mot, ‘unreal’. And looked like a damn funny diversion.

This afternoon’s fare, he explains, is ‘work-in-progress’ so if you attend, prepare to be involved, but it’s fine, he doesn’t bite. There’s the usual ‘who are you/where you from/what do you do?’ routine, eliciting at least ten minutes worth of running gags at the expense of Fifers, Australians and locals. Well, mostly Fifers. Though the presence of 15-year old Teddy possible sheared the edges off some of the intended ribaldry. Then three boxes are produced, ‘Silly’, ‘Risky’ and ‘Dirty’, each containing selections of jokes/riffs and the audience is asked to decide which ones Dan should try. It’s inevitably a bit hit & miss but a dude with this much energy carries things forward, the champagne moment being an unrepeatable quip relevant to disabled folks but steady on the cancel button, it’s not offensive. Unless you’re American, possibly.

Dan once worked as a barber back in his home country and the closing anecdotes cover the differing approaches from Australians and Germans in such establishments, mullets-a-go-go. The spectacle he leaves us with is of a baffled German so nearly defeated by a banana display in Tesco’s. Poking fun at the Germans isn’t new, but try claiming you didn’t laugh. And it was done with heart.

Running at The Beehive Inn (Lounge), Aug 6th – 10th, 12th – 17th, 19th – 25th, 14.00 (2pm in old money)

Reviewer: Roger Jacobs

Reviewed: 6th August 2025

North West End UK Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Roger Jacobs

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